Week 6 Diary Room

[Derek]

DAY 37:

I have finally won HOH! I am very happy that I was finally able to win a competition, after sitting out every Veto Competition so far this season. Originally, I said that I was going to throw this HOH, but things didn't really pan out the way I had hoped. Originally, the plan was to try and recruit Joner and Matt into the Private Eyes and target Jake and Cody for eviction. Unfortunately, the two of them really didn't give information to me or any of the others when they were talked to. Joner wanted to get rid of Bryson or Gabe. Matt, he never got back to me. So, I needed to guarantee that power stayed with either the Private Eyes or the Veterans. So, I went for the HOH, and lucky for me, I won it.

Now, there were definitely concerns that I had about winning HOH. The bottom line is: Jake and Cody are aligned with me and Bryson and Christian are aligned with me. I have two alliances in this house, but they're not working together. They're working against each other, and I'm caught in the middle. Definitely not a good position to be in, but it's where I've found myself. And this week, I may end up having to make a choice between the two of them.

When I won HOH, Christian and Bryson both told me they wanted Jake and Cody on the block. It's something we've been talking about ever since Van went home. Their time has to come soon, and I absolutely agree with that. I do not want to go to the end of the game with Jake and Cody, and quite frankly, I don't know if they would want me there, either. But, the key is getting rid of them at the right time, and that's hard to figure out each week. But, ideally, I would want to split them up by the Final 6. That's what I'm hoping for. But, I really don't want to be the one to put Jake or Cody on the block. The fact is, they are friends of mine. It would personally hurt, but I can put my feelings aside for the game. But, strategically, putting them up is not a good idea for me. Jake and Cody really do seem to want to work with me in this game and they want to keep me safe. Even if it's just for another week or two, it's still someone that wants to keep me in this game. That's not easy to come by in the game of Big Brother. So, strategically, it's great for me to keep them. But, it's also strategically great for me to get rid of them, or at least split them up. 

Looking at this HOH, my goal was to find a way to keep the Private Eyes and the Bullet Club in the game of Big Brother. And I either found a way to do just that or I found a way to ruin my game. But, you have to take chances in this game, or you're going to end up getting moved against, first. So, I made my move. I went to Jake and Cody and told them about what everyone was telling me. I told them that everyone wanted to target them and I wanted to try and find a way to keep paranoia in the house. So, Jake, Cody, and I concocted a little plan. I told the other side of the house that Jake was going to buy Immunity with his Chens, thus removing himself from being able to be nominated. The plan was to put up Jake and Cody, so one of them would at least go. But, I wouldn't risk that in an event like this, just putting up Cody against a pawn. Because if Jake or Cody won Veto, "they'd both be safe." So, at this point, my plan is to put up two pawns, which are Matt and Gabe, and then if the Veto is used, put up Cody.

My hope is that the Veto is not used and I can get rid of Matt. Matt is a competition threat and I think he's someone that can slip through the cracks. So, if I can get rid of him, it accomplishes two things. It keeps me in good shape with Jake and Cody, and the Private Eyes, and it gets rid of someone that they might use to replace me in their alliance. 

But, there is another point to this. Both Jake and Cody have expressed concerns about being able to make Double Eviction night. Cody has to work late, I guess, and Jake has something going on, too. I believe I told Christian and Bryson this, but they didn't want to risk them winning HOH. But, if this is really the case, then this could work out perfectly for splitting them up and I don't take the blame for it. I can get out Matt this time, and then when the Double Eviction comes, then Jake and Cody can be split up! It'd work out perfectly. Then, I am able to compete in HOH again and I'll try to win it, making another move for the future. 

There are a lot of things that can go right, and a lot of things that can go wrong. But, I'm excited for the future. We're getting down to the wire and every day, every move is important. I am hoping to be successful and make it to the end of this game. We'll see. I'm just happy for getting this opportunity and I am happy with the progress I have made, so far, in this game.

[Derek]

DAY 39:

At this point, if everyone is telling the truth, then it looks like things are going according to plan. Cody messaged me and told me that he won the Veto. He is not going to use it! THANK GOD! I do not want to have to put someone else up on the block. That would totally blow up my game. My main strategy so far has just been to play the middle. To influence individuals not to vote certain people out so that I can remain safe and continue working with them. I feel I have succeeded in that game, so far.

At this point, Jake and Cody are set on voting out Matt. Bryson and Christian also said they would vote out Matt, because of the upcoming Double Eviction. With Double Eviction being this Friday, nobody wants an extra element thrown into play. The bottom line is: Gabe hasn't been participating as much as Matt. If Matt wins HOH for Double Eviction, there's no telling what he would do with his nominations. He might put up Jake and Cody, he might go for random players. It is hard to say, period. So, it's better if Matt goes this week. That way, during Double Eviction, it's essentially Christian and Bryson vs. Jake and Cody. Joner's in the middle, but he would more likely than not go for Jake and Cody. We'll see, but I'll talk with him.

My hope for Double Eviction is that I can buy Immunity, just in case the two sides of the house have compared notes and have realized what I'm doing. That way, I can be safe. But, I am really hoping that Christian or Bryson wins HOH and they are able to split up Jake and Cody. Bottom line, Jake and Cody have to be split up. They are dangerous together, and are probably the biggest threats to me winning the game, right now. Jake has all of those Chens and God only knows what he might be able to do with them. I don't know if Chens are going to become useless soon, but I can't take that chance. And Cody is a competition beast. He has won 2 Vetos and one HOH. He could absolutely win his way to the end of the game. So, bottom line, they have to be split up. And Double Eviction is the perfect time to do that.

Cody has stated that it will be hard for him to make Double Eviction and Jake has also expressed concerns. Now, plans can change, and they might also be lying, but hopefully they are not able to make it. Part of my strategy for not nominating them this week was not only because I didn't want to become an immediate target of theirs, but also because they told me they may not be able to make Double Eviction. So, hopefully, this is the best opportunity to get rid of one of them. With Jake and Cody split up, it increases my chances of winning. Not only that, but I can potentially be safer in the game, still. Either Jake or Cody will be left in the game. My hope is that the person left would at least keep me safe, if they won HOH.

So, ideally, by the end of Double Eviction, the Final Six would be myself, Christian, Bryson, Joner, Gabe, and either Jake/Cody. From that point, it would just be about eliminating the right people at the right time. I don't want to think too far ahead, though. Plans might end up changing. For now, I'm focusing on Double Eviction. Matt needs to go first, and either Jake or Cody need to go after that.


With the end of the game drawing closer and closer, I do wonder about my chances of winning the game. I think that I do have a good chance of winning if I make it to the end, but I would have several challenges. I definitely need to justify the type of game that I played this season. I would not be surprised if a few people maybe wouldn't respect my game. That, maybe they might see my game as more of someone who hid behind others and was afraid of making a big move. But, I would argue that as a veteran, I had to be extremely careful with my game. The bottom line is, I feel I've been responsible for every elimination this season, other than Luci.

Joe and Corey, they can be attributed to the house, but I talked about getting them evicted to numerous house guests. Van, I find that Christian and I both played a big part in getting rid of Van. But, Cody using the extra eviction vote might give him the credit if he gets to the end. But, the whole point of my game was playing both sides against each other, so I could stay an essential alliance member. And I feel I have done that, so far. I got rid of Van so that Jake and Cody couldn't replace him with me. I convinced Jake and Cody to go after James, rather than Christian or Bryson. I kept my Private Eyes safe. And going into Double Eviction, I'm doing that as well. I put up Matt and Gabe in order to preserve my alliances with Jake/Cody, Christian/Bryson, and with Joner, too. I am keeping my options open. I have been able to convince people in the house to target people other than my allies and it's gotten me this far and it has gotten me everything I wanted to happen, so far.

So, quite frankly, I think I have played a good game, so far. My hope is that I can convince the other players in the game that I have been behind a lot of the big decisions and they respect my game play. I could see them looking at me as a coward, or someone that hid behind other people, but I really don't see it that way. I think my game, up to this point, has been the best strategy I could come up with. As a veteran, I needed to utilize a lot of resources to stay in this game, or risk being a target. And while Jake and Cody just laid back and didn't do anything at the start of the game, I made plans. I made the Private Eyes, I did something and I didn't want to break that plan. But, I also didn't want to betray Jake and Cody, because if they found a way to survive, then they would come directly after me. That's the risk I take, especially with my name and reputation. Another player might be able to get away with it easier than I could. So, I had to utilize the skill of making myself essential in my alliances and taking out any other person that they could have brought in to replace me. That's my strategy, we'll see if they respect it.

I have had fun, so far. I hope the fun is not over, but no matter what, I'm proud of my accomplishments. The fact is: every time I've played, I made it to a significant point in the game, in my opinion. And I got the chance for redemption, after waiting over three years to play again. In Big Brother 6, I was eliminated in the Final Four because I didn't have Internet. And I know I bring this up a lot, and people are probably tired of hearing the story, but it was definitely a big disappointment, for me. I know people have had worse things happen, especially when I think of Jake making it to the Final Two three times in a row and not winning, but each of us takes our wins and losses differently. If Jake gets to the end, again, he'll definitely still have to prove to me that he's worthy of winning the game. And the other thing: he's still got to work for it. I know I haven't put him up, and I could have evicted him, but it was for strategy reasons only. I am not letting him slide because I feel sorry for him. But, this game has given both of us a chance at redemption. This is to see if Jake has learned from his past and to see if he can pull out the win. And it gives me the opportunity to have a fighting chance. If I go out this time because I just didn't win the HOH I needed to, or the Veto that I needed to, and I get outplayed, then I'll still be disappointed, yes. But, at least I went out fighting, and that's what I've wanted since Big Brother 6 ended. A chance at redemption, the chance to fight. And I get that chance, and I am grateful for it. We'll see if I can capitalize on it. Eight years ago, I won the first Online Big Brother. Four years ago, I was runner-up on the fourth Online Big Brother. Maybe I can make it to the end, again, this time. Maybe. We'll see. But, no matter what, I'm just glad for this opportunity.

We'll see what happens on Friday. Till next time, America and hosts!

[Derek]

I have nothing to say, tonight. I'm just not in the mood to analyze and explain everything right now.

I wish things didn't have to be so personal. The issue with me is I've never experienced really significant betrayals in the game of Big Brother, ever. I've always been the one that was able to utilize my game and my strategy against other players. I've won once, got runner-up once, and got evicted in the Final Four because of a competition. I've always had the advantage over everyone, so I really don't know what it's like to have someone outplay me in this game.

Whatever happens, happens at this point. I just really hope Jake can find it in his heart to forgive me as a person. I don't take the game personal like he does. I feel bad if I hurt peoples' feelings, yes. I'm still a person, but I'd always like to believe I'd forgive people if I got betrayed or outplayed. But, Jake's had it happen so much to him, it seems like every time he plays, someone betrays him. And this time, it was me, and I know him outside of this game. I'm friends with him on Facebook, I've talked with him, and I consider him a good friend. It hurts to betray Jake, personally. That's the only thing I'm sorry for, if I hurt his feelings. Other than that, I did what I felt I had to do.

That's all I'm saying tonight. I need to get this off of my mind for the weekend.