Post by Derek on Dec 9, 2016 0:24:55 GMT
Well, guys, if you're reading this, then it means that I have been evicted from the game and I am in the jury house. But, the hosts have always allowed contestants to give a final post before they leave, so I am exercising my right to do so.
Back in Big Brother 6, I was eliminated from the game in the Final Four because the game was set up that the Final Four would be a "One Week's Worth of Game in One Night" Event. I was at my apartment for law school and I had pre-ordered my cable and internet boxes from Comcast. They didn't arrive on time. In fact, I didn't have working Cable and working Internet until the second week of school started. After all of that grief, I got 90 days of free DVR, 90 days of free HBO, and $25 off my first cable bill. But, because I didn't have Internet, and I didn't have an iPhone, I wasn't able to compete and I was eliminated from the game, because Jose had used the Diamond Power of Veto after Taylor won HOH. So, it came down to a competition between a player named Yami and I to see who would stay. So, I ended up leaving.
Since that day, I have always wanted another chance to play the game, to see how I would do. And I got my chance this season, in Big Brother 10. And you know what? I'm pretty happy with the progress I made. Despite the fact that I was a veteran, I made it to the Final 6. That's nothing to be ashamed of. So, just know that in regards to how I feel about Big Brother, I appreciate the chance to get to play again. This time, at least I was evicted having a chance. Having a chance at HOH, Veto, and strategy this time, has made me feel redeemed about the way I went out in Big Brother 6.
In regards to this game, I wanted to let all of you know that it has been an honor to meet you all. I've made great friends here, and you're still my friends, even if you voted me out. I've said it before and I'll say it again, this game doesn't have to be personal. I am not angry and I am not bitter. I'm not without my reasons for getting upset about this game, but nobody swore to me on anything sacred that they would keep me and went back on it. That is the only thing anyone could do that would offend me to my core. So, Bryson, Christian, Gabe, Jake, and Joner, I do wish you the best in this game.
At this point, there's only one matter left to take care of. And that's with Jake. Jake, obviously you've kept true to your word that you would not speak to me. You didn't do the partner challenges, maybe because you're still upset. Whatever the reasons, I just hope you know that I am sorry if I hurt your feelings, broke your trust, and upset you with my game move. Again, I am not sorry for playing the game. I felt that I needed to do what I had to do. I took a risk and obviously, this time, it didn't pay off. But, I feel like I wouldn't have gotten to the end of the game if it was you, me, and Cody. I feel you would have taken Cody and Cody would have taken you. If I'm wrong about that, then obviously I really did make a mistake. And I don't blame you: you and Cody are good friends. If Yami was playing this game, I'd probably take him to the end, still. I can understand why that decision might happen. And one day, either on Facebook or maybe if you make it to the Final Two, I'd be willing to share things that maybe you don't know and other things that I was feeling. We really didn't get to deal with all of that after what happened. We may disagree on our approaches to this game, but the bottom line is: I still do care about you as a person. And I really hope that one day you'll reach out. I'd reach out to you, but you'd have to unblock me on Facebook, plus I'm out of the game.
Just know, Jake, that you still have not lost my jury vote if you make it to the end. However, I will say this: if you do not answer my jury questions, I will not vote for you. I hope and ask that you will at least give me respect enough as a player and a person to at least answer my jury questions. That I must ask of you. Otherwise, I will vote for the other person, no matter who it is.
Thinking about everything, there is a part of me that can understand why you would feel hurt, betrayed, and upset by what happened. That maybe if one of my brothers would play the game with me and voted me out, that I would be upset. Maybe, I would have to see it happen. Because like I said before and I'll say it now: I don't take things that happen in this GAME personally. You vote me out for strategic reasons, I get it. It's nothing for me to get upset about. That's the game. It is only when personal matters are brought into the game that it becomes personal. I'm still not doing alright with the way things ended between us, Jake. You and I have had a lot of good talks in life, I've enjoyed our discussions that we've had on the forums and Facebook. My approach to this game is different than yours. Not saying either of us is right, or either of us is wrong. Our approaches are just different. I can separate the personal from the game. Even when someone is a friend, if they have to be voted out to advance further in the game, then it's a decision that I might have to make.
I still stand by some of the things that I said in my response to you in message and what I said on the forums. Some of it, it was just a bad day. My Grandpa's birthday was December 3, and when he died back in 2015, it really was a huge loss in my life. That man did a lot for me and unfortunately, a lot of the things that happened during Double Eviction and the fallout between us was just bad timing. Some of my anger was from that. And I still struggle with my insecurities in life over not having a girlfriend for the last ten years. Sometimes, I do feel that I have issues making a true connection with people or maybe I don't see the full value in my relationships with people because I haven't been able to achieve the closest connection I want to make in life. Plus, I've been betrayed in real life and I've lost friends, too, and that hurts. If there's anything worse than not being able to find a close relationship, it's losing a relationship that you already have.
Jake, I hope you know that our friendship is something I do value. I really am sorry if you feel like I didn't honor that friendship by voting out Cody. I did it as a game move, not to take a jab at our friendship. I'm not sorry for that game move, but I am sorry if it made you feel like I didn't respect our friendship. Because I do respect you as a person, I care about you as a friend, and I hope that there will come a day when we can repair the friendship. That is the only regret that I leave this game with, and it's the only part of the game that has affected me in real life. I'm still not doing alright with that, honestly.
With that, I am exiting this game and moving on. In many ways, I will be happy to have the free time. I need to start going back to the gym and competing in HOH Competitions and Veto Competitions kind of took time away from that. I also hope to continue talking with many of you when the game is done. God Bless, all of you. And best of luck. Fight hard, play the game, and do what you need to do to win. I've won the game before, and I will tell you, it's a good feeling. Till next time, House, Contestants, America, I'm Derek. Good night.
Back in Big Brother 6, I was eliminated from the game in the Final Four because the game was set up that the Final Four would be a "One Week's Worth of Game in One Night" Event. I was at my apartment for law school and I had pre-ordered my cable and internet boxes from Comcast. They didn't arrive on time. In fact, I didn't have working Cable and working Internet until the second week of school started. After all of that grief, I got 90 days of free DVR, 90 days of free HBO, and $25 off my first cable bill. But, because I didn't have Internet, and I didn't have an iPhone, I wasn't able to compete and I was eliminated from the game, because Jose had used the Diamond Power of Veto after Taylor won HOH. So, it came down to a competition between a player named Yami and I to see who would stay. So, I ended up leaving.
Since that day, I have always wanted another chance to play the game, to see how I would do. And I got my chance this season, in Big Brother 10. And you know what? I'm pretty happy with the progress I made. Despite the fact that I was a veteran, I made it to the Final 6. That's nothing to be ashamed of. So, just know that in regards to how I feel about Big Brother, I appreciate the chance to get to play again. This time, at least I was evicted having a chance. Having a chance at HOH, Veto, and strategy this time, has made me feel redeemed about the way I went out in Big Brother 6.
In regards to this game, I wanted to let all of you know that it has been an honor to meet you all. I've made great friends here, and you're still my friends, even if you voted me out. I've said it before and I'll say it again, this game doesn't have to be personal. I am not angry and I am not bitter. I'm not without my reasons for getting upset about this game, but nobody swore to me on anything sacred that they would keep me and went back on it. That is the only thing anyone could do that would offend me to my core. So, Bryson, Christian, Gabe, Jake, and Joner, I do wish you the best in this game.
At this point, there's only one matter left to take care of. And that's with Jake. Jake, obviously you've kept true to your word that you would not speak to me. You didn't do the partner challenges, maybe because you're still upset. Whatever the reasons, I just hope you know that I am sorry if I hurt your feelings, broke your trust, and upset you with my game move. Again, I am not sorry for playing the game. I felt that I needed to do what I had to do. I took a risk and obviously, this time, it didn't pay off. But, I feel like I wouldn't have gotten to the end of the game if it was you, me, and Cody. I feel you would have taken Cody and Cody would have taken you. If I'm wrong about that, then obviously I really did make a mistake. And I don't blame you: you and Cody are good friends. If Yami was playing this game, I'd probably take him to the end, still. I can understand why that decision might happen. And one day, either on Facebook or maybe if you make it to the Final Two, I'd be willing to share things that maybe you don't know and other things that I was feeling. We really didn't get to deal with all of that after what happened. We may disagree on our approaches to this game, but the bottom line is: I still do care about you as a person. And I really hope that one day you'll reach out. I'd reach out to you, but you'd have to unblock me on Facebook, plus I'm out of the game.
Just know, Jake, that you still have not lost my jury vote if you make it to the end. However, I will say this: if you do not answer my jury questions, I will not vote for you. I hope and ask that you will at least give me respect enough as a player and a person to at least answer my jury questions. That I must ask of you. Otherwise, I will vote for the other person, no matter who it is.
Thinking about everything, there is a part of me that can understand why you would feel hurt, betrayed, and upset by what happened. That maybe if one of my brothers would play the game with me and voted me out, that I would be upset. Maybe, I would have to see it happen. Because like I said before and I'll say it now: I don't take things that happen in this GAME personally. You vote me out for strategic reasons, I get it. It's nothing for me to get upset about. That's the game. It is only when personal matters are brought into the game that it becomes personal. I'm still not doing alright with the way things ended between us, Jake. You and I have had a lot of good talks in life, I've enjoyed our discussions that we've had on the forums and Facebook. My approach to this game is different than yours. Not saying either of us is right, or either of us is wrong. Our approaches are just different. I can separate the personal from the game. Even when someone is a friend, if they have to be voted out to advance further in the game, then it's a decision that I might have to make.
I still stand by some of the things that I said in my response to you in message and what I said on the forums. Some of it, it was just a bad day. My Grandpa's birthday was December 3, and when he died back in 2015, it really was a huge loss in my life. That man did a lot for me and unfortunately, a lot of the things that happened during Double Eviction and the fallout between us was just bad timing. Some of my anger was from that. And I still struggle with my insecurities in life over not having a girlfriend for the last ten years. Sometimes, I do feel that I have issues making a true connection with people or maybe I don't see the full value in my relationships with people because I haven't been able to achieve the closest connection I want to make in life. Plus, I've been betrayed in real life and I've lost friends, too, and that hurts. If there's anything worse than not being able to find a close relationship, it's losing a relationship that you already have.
Jake, I hope you know that our friendship is something I do value. I really am sorry if you feel like I didn't honor that friendship by voting out Cody. I did it as a game move, not to take a jab at our friendship. I'm not sorry for that game move, but I am sorry if it made you feel like I didn't respect our friendship. Because I do respect you as a person, I care about you as a friend, and I hope that there will come a day when we can repair the friendship. That is the only regret that I leave this game with, and it's the only part of the game that has affected me in real life. I'm still not doing alright with that, honestly.
With that, I am exiting this game and moving on. In many ways, I will be happy to have the free time. I need to start going back to the gym and competing in HOH Competitions and Veto Competitions kind of took time away from that. I also hope to continue talking with many of you when the game is done. God Bless, all of you. And best of luck. Fight hard, play the game, and do what you need to do to win. I've won the game before, and I will tell you, it's a good feeling. Till next time, House, Contestants, America, I'm Derek. Good night.
